Friday, August 11, 2006

Stupid Grocery Store Tricks

Well as I told you yesterday, I plan to update you on what you missed when my post went down.
I’ll start with the Stupid Grocery Store Tricks.
Yesterday I went to the big grocery store here to get a few items, milk, lunchmeat, etc.
I zipped into the store parking lot, bounded toward the door, got in and gathered up my items with lightening speed.
When I arrived at the checkout line, the progress was good. The total was $15.15. A bad omen, I now know, because no sooner had the items been rung up, then I realized I was missing my wallet.
Don’t be alarmed, I knew where it was, it was in the swimming bag.
We had gone swimming the day before and I take along my wallet because the pool passes are stored safely in there.
Unfortunately, I forget to transplant it back to my purse, so a lot of times, tragedy strikes at the checkout line.
I told the checker to hold on so I could run home and get my cash.
I only live about five minutes from the store, so it was really no big deal.
I bolt to my, and in the process my flip-flop flew off of my foot, seemingly with a mind of its own, I tried to maneuver my foot over it, to put it on correctly again but I couldn’t. So I just picked it up and ran.
Everyone must have thought I was completely nuts.
I hop into the car, sans flip-flop and hit the accelerator. I wanted to get home and back before the milk got warm.
Heading toward my house, I nearly ran over my neighbor, who was out jogging, he took to darn long to cross the road. I hit the gas, he kept looking over his shoulder.
I guess I was just a woman on a mission.
Today, I went to a different grocery store (yes, you read right, I am probably the only woman in America or anywhere who goes to the freaking grocery EVERY DAY) and the same thing happened. I forgot my blasted money again because we went to the pool. This time I didn’t run back home, I used an “emergency checkbook” I had stashed in the glove compartment. I just didn’t feel like dashing back home and nearly killing someone. Again.
So I get my items, pay for them without incident, get to my car, open my soda and it explodes all over me. I give up.
Here’s the freebie. It’s only 10 p.m. but the night is young, no?


~ Joy ~ said...

Ok... I cant stop laughing... I had a day like that today.. and you made me relive it.. I am so glad it is not just me.. thank you for the freebie.. and thanks for the laughs... Joy

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much!!!

Donna said...

I love your blog! The way you can laugh at yourself is great. It is good to know that other people do dumb stuff too. Thanks for the freebie. It is great too.

plp said...

I have days when I ask myself, Why did I leave the house? Sometimes just staying home is much safer. Even if it means we starve. lol

Thank you for another laugh and for the freebie.

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